a little old me having a crisis

    Since i was a kid i always thought about how can we be here and have this shape of a figure, and more importantly why. Why do we live as we live, why do we exist. And this was when i'm around 6 years old, a kindergarten kid whose only task is to play and cry and sleep. Oh silly little innocent boy.

I don't really have the answer now, nor i will. I highly doubt i will have the answer before i die.

And i've been having this existential crisis this past few days consecutively, i feel my mind cleared but also scared. Because i don't know if not thinking about the future or as my asian conservative parents perpective on their very own definition of success is a good thing or should i be taking this seriously. On summary, i am confused whether to live my life with my own path and thoughts or try to walk on the same way they do. Which is nothing in life is easy and i have to suffer to be "happy". 

On the contrary, if the point of  life is to be old and success so we can have no regrets and actually just retired happily, which doesn't sound like a really bad idea. But what stopping us to be happy now? To look at the sunsets, to taste the untasty water, to enjoy the cold side of the pillow? And to enjoy the little things, the very little thing, and that is living.